The Sex is bad, HELP! Relationship Wednesday

I've meet this wonderful guy with a great job, loves to travel and has the same moral compass but there is one problem... Our sex life is horrible.  I am not seeing fireworks or waking the neighbors. Help! What should I do?

I have received several variations of this question but they all have one thing in common... Can a relationship work without sexual gratification?

The key to finding the answer to this question lies in the definition of relationship.  If you are looking for a strictly physical connection and seriously nothing more, then I would have to suggest you move on. You can try and communicate that you are not stimulated or feel an animal attraction but why would he care.  If you aren't striving for more than sexual stimulation then he has no motivation to be better for you.  You have formed a selfish connection so expectations should be very low.

If your definition of a relationship includes building a life together consisting of  love, commitment and respect for each other than my answer would be YES.   I do not believe in the theory that people

can be "sexually non compatible".  The key exists within the effort to satisfy, communication and the willingness to vulnerably submit to your partner.  Sexual satisfaction is of course physical but if you master the mental game, you will no longer be impressed by fireworks because you have daily visits to the stars! Sex becomes more when its tied to a goal of pleasing your partner instead of looking to be pleased.  This is the area where communication and evaluation is a must. 

No longer a baby! Toddler steps on deck.. Fit Friday

Well another 7 days are under my belt!  I'm moving closer and closer to 100 days of sending those nasty bad habits to the file of distant memories. My water intake has increased to 118 ounces a day (10 oz shy of my goal), I have filled my activity circle at least twice this week on my Apple Watch ... I have been moving this body! I feel strength coming in my knees and started the process of being able to walk up my stairs without turning to the side to lessen the pressure.  I have a lot to be excited about and feel motivated to add another level.   I've dusted off my hand and ankle weight and have them ready for this upcoming week.  I won't be weighing myself this week but I know that progress is being made. 

Now it hasn't been without some set backs.  The struggle is still there with my food intake.  I have been skipping breakfast again, not taking my Protein/Fiber powder mix and having a craving for chocolate that is crazy strong! I have resolved to get this under control by setting timers in my iPhone.. Yes, you read that correctly, I have added to my calendar that its time to eat, go grab your protein shake right next to my kids work schedules. Using tools to keep you on track that are practical can help you stay focus on conscious of your time. Vitamins and supplements are the next area I want to conquer consistently so I will be adding a reminder to take them to my trusty calendar too! 

Leaving no Coins on the Table! Sunday Savings

 It's Sunday and it's time to get to saving! Grab your Sunday newspaper and clip those coupons! This week (2/5) there should be two; The Smart Source (SS) and the Red Plum (RP).  The type of inserts and coupons vary by area and region so keep that in mind.  This week my goal is to grab a few items that my family continuously need like toothpaste, tissue and laundry detergent but I also want to take advantage of some of the money making opportunities. I have resolved to not leave "any coins on the table" regardless to the amount! My second step will be to make my way to the Krazy Coupon lady app and see what moneymaking trips she has for us this week.  

*Tip* Check your local Dollar Tree to see if you can grab that Sunday newspaper for $1*

First up is a money making trip to Walmart...Coupons & Rebate apps will have a few coins falling in your pocket.  

Seriously, do we have a future? ... Relationship Wednesday

Relationship Wednesday is here! I will be answering the questions I receive via email from you guys regarding dating, marriage and love in general. For those who are new to my blog, I have been married for over 20 years, a mother of three and a completely open book about my ups and downs.  I love to help others find meaningful relationships that are based on a sense of self love. I try to give advice that is straight forward and practical so you can  understand it and apply to your life.

This week's question:  How do you know when a guy is truly looking for a serious relationship vs spitting game to get me in the bed?

My advice:  This question has been asked to me and many other life coaches over and over.  It's a great question but it always seem to send the hairs on the back of my neck  to a full salute.  Let's first talk about my problem with this question.  I don't like the way it reads that the decision of the relationship is in the hands of the man.  You have just as much say in how serious the relationship will be as he does.  You have to come into any relationship looking for someone that can enhance not complete you.  If you are comfortable with yourself, bring to the table what you are looking for and have a genuine heart that is open to be loved than you won't have to concern yourself with this question.  

What, Mslawanda? Answer the freaking question!