Monday, November 14, 2022

It’s Time To Begin Again!

  It’s been a long time. I have neglected this blog, neglected myself and neglected you who have supported me over the years.  I originally stopped writing because of the Carpal-tunnel in my hands and the pain i was experiencing. It then became a problem of not knowing how to get out the words to express how I was feeling.  

During my absence I have lost my oldest child, hit almost 400 pounds on the scale and discovered that many of the people in my life that I held in high regard, had lied to me for years.  Everyday I find myself experiencing sadness, guilt and confusion.  I am constantly evaluating what is my purpose on this planet.  I do not know who I am anymore. I am completely lost. It is so scary finding myself in the center of the road with a map that was accurate yesterday, but today all the roads have disappeared. It is now just a blank piece of paper and nothing about my surroundings look familiar. 

I try to remind myself of the things that are still in my life, like my daughter and youngest son. I am grateful to see them navigate through life and experience new things.  I try to move away from the guilt of not inspiring them more and being a better mother but it so hard. Sometimes I think that I have done a decent job but then the confidence is gone. Logically I know I made every effort to do the best that I could. I know that I had very little guidance and had to navigate blindly but I still see defeat. 

I examine my marriage of over twenty six years and its a mess to put it mildly.  I believe my husband flops from loving me to hating me on a weekly basis. I am sure he doesn’t see any value in me as a person and lives in the moments of tolerance. He would prefer a life of going to work, having his dinner, uninterrupted television and a wife that appears in the background of these things occasionally.  I am so desperate for the true admiration and desire that disappeared years ago.  I miss having someone who loved caring for me, living to make me smile and lusting for me.  I am left with a shell of a man who doesn’t care if he is there for me, respected by me or even loved by me. 

My ego is so bruised because I thought I planned this life better.  I thought I did all the right things to produce the results of success but I didn’t.  I am turning out to be nothing special at all. I am just like everyone else who put in a lot less effort.  I thought I could win at the game of life but the truth is no one really does.  People are constantly lying to you, not keeping up with their agreements and then the realization that you are not who you thought you could be. 

Now its time for me to change things. This is what inspired me to blog today.  I am ready to build a new roadmap.  I want to design it based on the needs of me. I don’t want to add streets and destinations based on the wants of others. My children are adults.  I can stop trying to inject my wishes, guilt and insecurities on them. It’s time to be a spectator instead of a participant. I am going to have to find a way to forgive myself for the shortcomings in my parenting, accept it and move on. I need to learn to answer questions without assuming the responsibility of the problem. It has to become okay to let them solve their own problems. I am determine to do this with love for them and especially for me. 

I am determined to keep the memory of my oldest alive without sadness. I want to smile and dance in joy of the wonderful gift that changed my destiny.  I know it wont be easy but I will not stop quitting. My “Dollface” is felt so much in my life and i will not let sadness make me unable to enjoy the experience. I will never stop missing or wishing I could share just one more thing but I can’t. I have to find a way to come to peace with it.

To be honest, my marriage is the one area I am not going to tackle. I don’t know how to work for it without taking my needs out of the equation. I don’t know where it is heading and I am find with that. I want to fall in love with myself.  I want to smile at me, admire me, date me, dance with me, comfort me and make sure I am madly in love with me. I want to come back to my blog to document this journey. I want to share the diary of how I recover. I want to actively put words and actions together to make Lawanda my true love. 

I hope you will follow my journey, share yours and help me stay accountable to ME! 

Thursday, December 23, 2021

Deluxe Versions are HERE!

The launch of my first series of Digital Planners is a success! So what’s the best way to celebrate?

New Deluxe versions! Now you can get all three planners with additional tabs that make navigating  (pages previously  in the extra section) faster and easier. The planner has the same format you love in the standard just with a smoother transition. 

Introducing Color Enhanced Deluxe Planners!  “With God’s Plan” or “Plan On It” can now be enhanced with colors along with the additional tabs with our Deluxe Color Enhanced Digital Planners. These planners make your individual personality and style shine even more. 

Learn More below:

Deluxe Standard Planners - These planners have additional tabs to quickly get to the pages normally sectioned in the extra section. These new tabs will help organize your year. This option is available for all three planner options. These planners will be sent via email in 3-5 days after payment is received. 


Color Enhanced Deluxe Digital Planners- These planners can be customized with your favorite colors. The pages are the same great formats in the standard planners but can now be enhanced with your color choice and the easy to use additional tabs.  This option is available for the Plan On It and With Gods Grace themes.  These planners will be sent via email in 5- 7 days after payment is received.

Thursday, December 9, 2021

We are Live! The Digital Planners are Available!

 The day is finally here! My three planner themes are now available for purchase. I decided to create a little commercial to help you get excited and ready to plan in 2022!

Check it out and Order Your Planner TODAY!!!!

Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Digital Planners for 2022! So Excited!

Hey Guys! I am so excited to share my new business venture. I have always loved planners and looked forward to getting my new pages every year.  The only draw back was storing all the previous years and trying to find past important events. I first started researching to find note apps or planner apps that could take the place of my traditional paper planner but nothing seemed to work the way I wanted.  As a wise woman once said, "If you cannot find what you need, create it!"

Hours of Youtube tutorials, harassing family and countless tears but I have created a series of digital planners that I am extremely proud to share.  I am sure I will notice things that I wish I did better but as a debut I think I have created planners that everyone can find useful.  The series consists of 3 different themed planners. "With Gods Grace", "Plan On It", and "This is my Year".  They include pages that allow you to organize your life, take control of your finances and keep notes of important occurrences in your year.

The planners are received as a pdf file to your email and work with the Apple iPad, Apple Pencil and/or GoodNotes5 app. (available in both the Apple Store & Google Play) You chose what is best for you and when the year is over you can zip the file or leave open, either way you can reach your planner in seconds. The Planner can be seen and used on your iPhone or smartphone, but is optimized on the Apple iPad or a tablet with the GoodNotes 5 app.

Each planner theme offers a different aesthetic that  I created to fit a variety of  personalities and styles. "With Gods Grace", is a planner theme that includes a different scripture every month, pages to jot down your favorite inspirational quotes and reminders to look at the blessings in your life. This theme is considered Christian based but anyone can be inspired with this planner.

"Plan on It" offers a more simplest approach to organizing your year. The colors are a bit more traditional and the pages may seem familiar to those who have used planners for years. Like all the themes available, the Plan On It Planner allows you to select the page tabs and quickly jump from month to month. You can keep track of your travel plans, plan your month in advance and keep up with your fitness goals. 

A great advantage with digital planners are the ability to use them via technology, but you can print any page that you want when you need it.  The planner is a PDF file so you can chose to print the entire planner or select a particular page or page range.  There is no need to print the planner, it is completely usable digitally, but if you want to share a note page from the whimsical "This is my Year" planner with your doctor, that option is available. Maybe you want to print your workout log to share with your trainer, thats available too.  These planners offer you the best of both worlds. 


A little confused? 

            No worries! 

I have included tutorials to help you have a smooth transition from traditional to digital organizing. The tutorials on the Tutorial Digital Planner tab at the top will show you how to use the planner as a PDF or if you prefer with the note taking app GoodNotes 5.

If you still have questions or concerns please feel to email me and I will make sure you are a pro in no time! 

Ready to get your planner? Click the Digital Planner Tab at the top or (click here) and you can purchase using Square Up.

 Buy now  and you will receive the planner of your choice in less than 2 hours along with an exclusive sticker pack.

Let's take control of our lives in 2022!

 Plan on it with God's Grace cause its Your Year! 

Monday, June 11, 2018

I Have A Crush- And it's a Big One!

Yes, I know I  have been MIA in the blogging scene, not sharing the latest events in the Huntsville area, neglecting to  introduce the newest gadgets or failing to showcase amazing small businesses that
you need to check out.  I want to apologize! I seriously got a bit burnt out and put my first writing love on the back burner.  I found myself so  busy ghost writing for other brands, studying to become a Certified Life Coach and getting my youngest graduated from high school that I left you without a strong beat to step to.  Well I'm back and I promise not to take you for granted anymore.

I decided to come back needed a  bang so I/m going to  share a MUST attend event that has gone from great to the greatest. Was that a bit much? I am just so excited to be covering events again LOL

Today, Homegrown, hosted a wonderful press conference in Big Spring Park to announce the
expansion of the annual event Big Spring Crush Food & Wine Festival.  This event is celebrating its 5th anniversary this year and instead of asking for gits they are giving us one!  The Festival will now be the entire weekend and will incorporate the Jazz in the Park to end the weekend with an equally sophisticated but sultry musical sendoff.  The saxophonist Alex Banks II gave us a taste of what was to come at the press conference playing while the media was mingling and asking additional questions. Mr. Banks a local favorite, will be the featured artist at the event capping Sunday Brunch and Champagne Testing.

Before leaving the press conference I spotted a
table with chocolate truffles to sample, so of course I made my way over to give them a try.  The chocolate was provided by Michelle's Chocolate Laboratory and when I say to you that it was good I mean it was gooood! The company is based in Birmingham but trust me its worth adding to your list when planning your next mini road trip. Homegrown provided a lovely press kit that along with the official information contained a wonderful bottle of champagne and two of Michelle's Chocolate Lab truffles that i plan to have for breakfast tomorrow! Don't judge me, who wouldn't want Truffles & Mimosas in the morning!

Flashback to guest blogger, Mary Ann Matson's, experience in 2015
Off to Publix for Orange Juice!

This year you can connect with others attending the event and the latest updates by following and using the hashtags #IHaveACrush #CrushWineFestival

Here's the Official Press Release! Don't miss out on the promotional rates and get your tickets ASAP!

HUNTSVILLE, Ala., June 11, 2018:  - Homegrown Huntsville
hosts the fifth annual Big Spring Crush, a downtown wine & food festival held September 28 – 30th in Big Spring Park East. Successfully selling out tickets the past four years, the festival makes the jump this year to a weekend long event for Huntsville, Alabama.  The festival offers 150 wine labels for patrons to taste. A stage will highlight local entertainment and provide ambiance for festival goers while food trucks prepare wine inspired menu items. This year, the festival offers new weekend packages, a Friday night winemaker dinner and a collaboration with Jazz in the Park for a Sunday brunch and champagne tasting.

The new ticket packages will give patrons access to a weekend full of exclusive food and wine events.  The Ultimate VIP Package for two covers every event: a Friday night high-end wine tasting, a Friday night seated dinner catered by Church Street Purveyor, Saturday VIP access, private cheese and chocolate wine pairing events on Saturday and a Sunday Jazz Brunch and champagne tasting.  There is also a foodie package that includes all the food specific events, a wino weekender package for connoisseurs that want access to a weekend of high end wine tastings and of course a Big Spring Crusher package that covers your admission to the festival on Saturday and the additional tastings on Friday and Sunday.

Tickets for Big Spring Crush are on sale starting today. Packages range from $450 for the Ultimate VIP Package which covers two guests to $80 for the Big Spring Crusher.  The only way to attend the exclusive tasting on Friday night and the cheese & chocolate pairing events on Saturday is through the purchase of a package.  The VIP passes are $65 and grant early access to the festival on Saturday at 5pm and access to a private VIP area with additional seating and high-end wine tastings from Church Street Wine Shoppe at 6pm. The Friday VIP dinner passes are $65.  The Sunday Jazz Brunch and Champagne tasting is $40. 

General admission grants access to the festival and unlimited wine tastings. Incentives are available based on how early you purchase your ticket. The first 400 general admission tickets sold are only $40, tickets are then $45 until July 31st, the remaining tickets are $50.  All tickets can be purchased at They are all limited in quantity to ensure growth is well executed.  Homegrown continues to strive for quality over quantity.  No tickets sold at the gate.

Maybe the Luck of The Irish will come my Way!

Theoretically I love to travel. I look forward  to the exposure to new cuisines, immersing myself in the culture/customs and the stamps on my passport. Exploring the landscapes from my favorite television shows like Vera, Shetland and The Fall, retracing the steps of the characters and showing off my newly acquired accent. Meeting up with friends that share little know facts, visiting off the beaten path restaurants like an amateur Anthony Bourdain (RIP),relive the adventure over and over again through my one of a kind SnapChat stories, Instagram post and jaw dropping Facebook Live sessions.  The only problem is that I have never traveled abroad in my life.  Well when I resided in Michigan I went to Canada (Windsor, Toronto and Niagara Falls) but I simply needed to furnish my drivers license and I was in and out in a flash.  I don't have a passport, I am a wee bit afraid of flying, I am allergic to just about everything, my weight has me examining every distant and seat that i may need to wrangle and my bank account is saying Whoa Nelly!

But..... My cousin just invited me (Well semi invited me... I asked to go) to Ireland in June 2019!The
original offer was a cousins trip to Atlanta but no offense to the ATL, I been there - done that. She then offered (wink) to cover the living arrangements with flight and spending money my only concern for the next 365 days. I got so excited. I started looking for flights, sharing my upcoming plans with my family, reading Visit Ireland blogs and then it hit me. What the hell was I thinking? Had I lost my mind? Reality check! I am currently a freelance, entrepreneur, small business owner... basically fancy words for "broke" individual. My digestive system only works part time, my body negatively reacts to 80% of the food in this world, I'm a bit afraid of flying and a seat belt extender is how i greet the flight attended before boarding.

So here we are, odds against me but I am cheesing like a kid in a free candy store.  I have decided I
will beat the odds and with  the Luck of the Irish be drinking whiskey in Dublin this time next year.What is my plan you say? I have decided to kick start my business and truly focus on taking paid clients. I am going to save every dollar towards this trip of a lifetime.  I want to be as healthy as I can be so I am jump starting my diet too.  Protein has always been good to me so Low Carb is the perfect choice for me. I am going to strive to loose 100 pounds in a year with dieting and exercising. Finally I have created an Go Fund Me page in hopes that lovers of travel and people who pity me decide to donate and help my cause. I am going to share every step of this journey with you guys. Make sure you are following me on Snapchat, Twitter and Instagram so you won't miss a step.  I will also update monthly here on the blog.

Have you traveled to Ireland? Any suggestions? Have you tried a Low Carb diet? Any fun receipes?

Leave your comments below, I love reading them!

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

The Sex is bad, HELP! Relationship Wednesday

I've meet this wonderful guy with a great job, loves to travel and has the same moral compass but there is one problem... Our sex life is horrible.  I am not seeing fireworks or waking the neighbors. Help! What should I do?

I have received several variations of this question but they all have one thing in common... Can a relationship work without sexual gratification?

The key to finding the answer to this question lies in the definition of relationship.  If you are looking for a strictly physical connection and seriously nothing more, then I would have to suggest you move on. You can try and communicate that you are not stimulated or feel an animal attraction but why would he care.  If you aren't striving for more than sexual stimulation then he has no motivation to be better for you.  You have formed a selfish connection so expectations should be very low.

If your definition of a relationship includes building a life together consisting of  love, commitment and respect for each other than my answer would be YES.   I do not believe in the theory that people
can be "sexually non compatible".  The key exists within the effort to satisfy, communication and the willingness to vulnerably submit to your partner.  Sexual satisfaction is of course physical but if you master the mental game, you will no longer be impressed by fireworks because you have daily visits to the stars! Sex becomes more when its tied to a goal of pleasing your partner instead of looking to be pleased.  This is the area where communication and evaluation is a must. 

It’s Time To Begin Again!

   It’s been a long time. I have neglected this blog, neglected myself and neglected you who have supported  me over the years.  I originall...